News May 20th 2016

How to get out of the friend zone


Falling for a friend isn't that surprising - after all, you already get on well with them, and you share interests and opinions. So you may find that your friend suddenly becomes strangely attractive, and you start imagining them as partner material. But there has to be a two-way attraction for a friendship to develop into a relationship, and you may be uncertain as to whether they feel the same way about you. What if they've firmly put you in the friend zone and just don't see you as a potential partner? Besides, many people in this situation are reluctant to broach the possibility of turning the friendship into something more, for fear of losing their friend or creating an awkward situation if their friend doesn't feel the same way. So how can you get out of the friend zone?

Give them hints

In spite of the fact that men are generally seen as being unsubtle and straightforward, leaping on them isn't likely to do anything than scare them. Women don't like to be pounced on either, and suddenly confronted with the idea that you want to get out of the friend zone. You can't go from friend zone 0 to partner 60 in no time at all, so take it slowly and start sowing the seeds. Guys especially can be oblivious of the fact that you're interested in them, so start dropping a few gentle hints that something more could be on the cards. Simple things like making eye contact can give them a clue that you're seeing them as something more than just a friend.

Communicate more

If you only see your friend every once in a while, and just drop them the occasional message, there's not much chance of anything developing. Even if they're interested, they'll think that you've firmly placed them in friend zone territory. So up the stakes and make more frequent contact. Find reasons to see each other, such as arranging outings and suggesting movies that they'd like. Show an interest in things they're interested in. And when you're apart, find excuses to message them; try to keep the conversation going and create more connections between you. Send them pictures that will make them laugh as well.

Flirt with them

A little gentle flirtation can go a long way. It won't be so awkward that they'll be embarrassed if they don't return your interest, but it could begin to get the idea into their head that you could be something more than a friend. Don't overdo it, as it could be confusing for them if you suddenly start flirting heavily with them, but instead try a few gentle hints that you're finding them attractive.

Don't come on too strong

Movies love to show platonic friends turning into romantic couples, with the two individuals concerned realising that they've been meant for each other all along. But that's not reality, and friendships don't turn to love overnight. Coming out of the friend zone is much more likely to be a slow burner, so don't come on too strong; you risk embarrassing your friend, or even antagonizing them.

Show them you care

Friends should have each other's backs, and partners even more. So show your friend that you're there for them and how much you care about them. It certainly doesn't hurt to remind our friends that we love them, and if your friend is getting the hint that you'd like there to be more to your relationship, they'll be flattered to be reminded how important they are to you.

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